I was clicking through pages on the Internets today and I stumbled across this article in the NY Times Style section:
http://runway.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/04/starting-the-summer-in-paris/?ref=fashion
The article is pretty much all about how summer fashion in Paris is "inventive," etc. and the author follows in the grand American tradition of slobbering over Parisian style simply because it is Parisian. My favorite bits in the article are when she cites the plethora of ballet flats and flat sandals as evidence of "inventiveness" and breathlessly describes the outfit of a middle-aged parisienne dressed all in black. All-black in a city (a bloutfit, if you will)? Linen, shorts and flat sandals for summer? Inventive, I tell you. Truly unexpected.
True, French women are undeniably chic with their touseled hair, cool denim and classy accessories. True, you can get away with certain things here that might be questionable in much of the U.S. (harem pants, onesies/rompers/playsuits, joutfits). But I have been saying it all along, people: French women all dress the same. One French woman on the streets of small-town U.S.A. probably would seem truly interesting and fashionable in her understated silhouettes and carefully combined neutrals. But you walk around Paris for a few months and you realize that they all have the same stuff. Each age group of parisienne has its own acceptable set of shoes, handbags, jeans and sweaters. If you lived here, you'd probably dress like that, too. It's not inventive, it's uniform. And here's the best part - Parisian teenagers are actually trying to dress like us as much as we're trying to dress like them. Hence the overabundance of Abercrombie & Fitch and NY Yankees gear.
06 June, 2010
29 May, 2010
French people (don't) hate America
I've realized something about language. There's a stereotype about the French that they a) hate Americans b) hate the U.S. and c) hate literally everything our country symbolizes. However, most of the Parisians (and Europeans) I've met who speak English fluently have this almost unnerving obsession with the U.S. I met a man the other day who is from Luxembourg and lives in France (by the way, he speaks English, French, Italian, German and Luxembourgish, don't worry) who was telling me that he's lived and traveled extensively in the U.S. - he even stayed in South Carolina for a few years! - and that he loves, loves, loves, America and Americans. Ditto the family I work for. Ditto every French person I've met who speaks English proficiently. In fact, several English-speaking French people have, upon finding out that I'm American (they usually thing I'm English for some reason?), smiled broadly - something the French NEVER do - and said, "Oh, I LOVE your country!" You find the same sentiments among French-speaking Americans. We tend to be passionately in love with France / the French / Paris in a way that our non-French-speaking neighbors are not.
On the other hand, when an American walks into a French restaurant / bus / store and insists on speaking English (loudly) to the driver / saleslady / server who speaks nothing but French, you can cut the nationalistic tension with a knife. The American, for some reason, becomes furious because, seriously, doesn't everyone speak English? Isn't this bus driver just being intentionally obtuse? Meanwhile said bus driver is mumbling under his breath about how maybe you should try speaking the language of the country you're visiting, for a change, you self-centered American fool. This exchange leaves both parties feeling grumpy about the other's language / culture / country in general.
I think this arises from the two cultures having very different attitudes about language. Because of France's location, well-educated French people (especially along the borders) often have at least a basic understanding of English and, sometimes, German, Italian and/or Spanish. Additionally, the French are historically fiercely protective of their language - hence the existence of the Academie Francaise - and have become even moreso recently because French is steadily decreasing in its rank among the list of the world's most widely spoken languages. Combine the French language's slump in popularity with the steady influx of Arabic-speakers into France and suddenly the French see their beloved language as being in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Americans don't really feel like we need to learn another language because one of our two neighboring countries is Anglophone and even when you're traveling you can nearly always find someone who has a basic understanding of English. The French wish more people would speak French; Americans merely expect that most of the world speaks English.
On the other hand, when an American walks into a French restaurant / bus / store and insists on speaking English (loudly) to the driver / saleslady / server who speaks nothing but French, you can cut the nationalistic tension with a knife. The American, for some reason, becomes furious because, seriously, doesn't everyone speak English? Isn't this bus driver just being intentionally obtuse? Meanwhile said bus driver is mumbling under his breath about how maybe you should try speaking the language of the country you're visiting, for a change, you self-centered American fool. This exchange leaves both parties feeling grumpy about the other's language / culture / country in general.
I think this arises from the two cultures having very different attitudes about language. Because of France's location, well-educated French people (especially along the borders) often have at least a basic understanding of English and, sometimes, German, Italian and/or Spanish. Additionally, the French are historically fiercely protective of their language - hence the existence of the Academie Francaise - and have become even moreso recently because French is steadily decreasing in its rank among the list of the world's most widely spoken languages. Combine the French language's slump in popularity with the steady influx of Arabic-speakers into France and suddenly the French see their beloved language as being in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Americans don't really feel like we need to learn another language because one of our two neighboring countries is Anglophone and even when you're traveling you can nearly always find someone who has a basic understanding of English. The French wish more people would speak French; Americans merely expect that most of the world speaks English.
19 May, 2010
Montmartre vs. Paris
The Montmartre neighborhood - especially Place du Tertre and around the Sacré-Coeur - is kind of like a "Paris at the turn of the century" themed amusement park. Like if Disney did Paris. You walk down the crooked, cobblestone streets and see crooked, old, vine-covered buildings and artists sitting outside with their easels painting the same images that Toulouse Lautrec and Picasso used to see when they lived in the neighborhood. The area is intentionally picturesque. It's actually not so bad in the winter, but once spring and good weather hit, so do the cheesy outdoor cafe terraces, craftspeople, and tourist hordes. That being said, Montmartre is charming in its own way and should be a priority for visitors to the city if only to peek into the basilica to ogle the mosaics. But it's not the place to find "authentic" Paris (if there even is such a thing). The Paris that Montmartre reflects is just an image of an era that ended somewhere between Haussmann's remodeling of the city and the German invasion of World War II.
Embarrassingly, I have to admit that when I first visited Paris at the age of 14, Montmartre, especially the Place du Tertre, was everything I had wanted Paris to be (and was disappointed it wasn't). Montmartre was the image I stored in my brain while I zealously idealized Paris and Parisian life throughout high school. And Montmartre (specifically the Montmartre of Amelie) was what I remembered and got excited about when I returned to this city when I was 20. I won't say that trip made me understand Montmartre for what it actually is, but a second visit to this city did make me replace Montmartre as the default "Paris" image in my mind with other pictures (specifically of the Marais). Honestly, it really wasn't until a few weekends ago that I fully realized just how absurd my Parisian ideal had been. You see, pretty much every time I have visited Montmartre since arriving in Paris in August the city has been in its off-season. So I could climb up the little hill to the basilica and goof around in the empty fountain and get lost on the crooked, winding streets while looking for the Dali museum in ignorant peace. I suppose I should have had some clue given that the main street leading up to the Sacré-Coeur is lined with souvenir shops and there are multitudes of shady souvenir-hawking dudes lurking at the bottom of the hill trying to make you buy a string that they tie around your finger (???). But it wasn't until my last visit to the neighborhood that I really understood - Montmartre is an amusement park minus the rides.
I was totally floored by the transformation to which the neighborhood had been subjectted. Literally thousands of people pushed their way past each other to try to get a seat on one of the newly erected covered outdoor cafe terraces on place du Tertre. There were more signs, more craftspeople / artists (and "artists"), more souvenirs, more cheesy accordian music. It was insanity.
I suppose this is why I giggled so much when on that last visit I heard a stereotypically loud, oblivious American girl say to her father while standing in Place du Tertre, "Now THIS is what I always imagined Paris would be like ever since I was a little kid." I laughed at first because, you know, what an inane thing to say! And then I laughed a little more because I used to think the exact same thing. Sorry, sunshine. This picturesque square that you are ogling excitedly through those knock-off Chanel sunglasses that you bought next to the tour Eiffel yesterday? This isn't Paris. It's too one-dimensional.
Paris is complex. It's living and evolving every day. It's wide boulevards and narrow alleys, the hipster bar near Bastille, the Arab-dominated Barbes-Rochechouart market, the awesome boulangerie next to my house (A la flute enchantée), the omnipresence of both H&M and McDonald's, the haute couture ateliers and haute cuisine restaurants. Paris is incredible and frustrating and beautiful and exciting and stressful and all of these different extremes. You can't encapsulate the idea of Paris in a theme park.
Embarrassingly, I have to admit that when I first visited Paris at the age of 14, Montmartre, especially the Place du Tertre, was everything I had wanted Paris to be (and was disappointed it wasn't). Montmartre was the image I stored in my brain while I zealously idealized Paris and Parisian life throughout high school. And Montmartre (specifically the Montmartre of Amelie) was what I remembered and got excited about when I returned to this city when I was 20. I won't say that trip made me understand Montmartre for what it actually is, but a second visit to this city did make me replace Montmartre as the default "Paris" image in my mind with other pictures (specifically of the Marais). Honestly, it really wasn't until a few weekends ago that I fully realized just how absurd my Parisian ideal had been. You see, pretty much every time I have visited Montmartre since arriving in Paris in August the city has been in its off-season. So I could climb up the little hill to the basilica and goof around in the empty fountain and get lost on the crooked, winding streets while looking for the Dali museum in ignorant peace. I suppose I should have had some clue given that the main street leading up to the Sacré-Coeur is lined with souvenir shops and there are multitudes of shady souvenir-hawking dudes lurking at the bottom of the hill trying to make you buy a string that they tie around your finger (???). But it wasn't until my last visit to the neighborhood that I really understood - Montmartre is an amusement park minus the rides.
I was totally floored by the transformation to which the neighborhood had been subjectted. Literally thousands of people pushed their way past each other to try to get a seat on one of the newly erected covered outdoor cafe terraces on place du Tertre. There were more signs, more craftspeople / artists (and "artists"), more souvenirs, more cheesy accordian music. It was insanity.
I suppose this is why I giggled so much when on that last visit I heard a stereotypically loud, oblivious American girl say to her father while standing in Place du Tertre, "Now THIS is what I always imagined Paris would be like ever since I was a little kid." I laughed at first because, you know, what an inane thing to say! And then I laughed a little more because I used to think the exact same thing. Sorry, sunshine. This picturesque square that you are ogling excitedly through those knock-off Chanel sunglasses that you bought next to the tour Eiffel yesterday? This isn't Paris. It's too one-dimensional.
Paris is complex. It's living and evolving every day. It's wide boulevards and narrow alleys, the hipster bar near Bastille, the Arab-dominated Barbes-Rochechouart market, the awesome boulangerie next to my house (A la flute enchantée), the omnipresence of both H&M and McDonald's, the haute couture ateliers and haute cuisine restaurants. Paris is incredible and frustrating and beautiful and exciting and stressful and all of these different extremes. You can't encapsulate the idea of Paris in a theme park.
03 May, 2010
L'Avant Comptoir and other deliciousness
I have become a very adventurous eater since moving to France. Here are some things I have eaten (and liked!) here that I never would have touched in the U.S.:
Foie gras
Steak tartare
Blood sausage
Veal (just because in the U.S. people judge you)
Frog legs
Escargot
Camembert
An assortment of raw things such as eggs, tuna and salmon
One can sample all kinds of delicious things at l'Avant Comptoir, an excellent restaurant in the 6th. The little sister to larger, more famous le Comptoir de Relais (both opened by Yves Camdeborde), often people only stop in at the former for appetizers before a large sit-down meal at the latter. In fact, l'Avant Comptoir doesn't even have tables and chairs. You squeeze into the tiny space and stand at the counter. However, Kay and I have decided that l'Avant Comptoir is a great place to create a delicious (and inexpensive) lunch out of several hors d'oeuvres. We made friends with the chef (the one who prepares the food, not the one who opened the restaurant), Sebastien, so it's a fun place to go, too.
They offer several different types of sausage and ham, thinly sliced and served on a wooden cutting board. You can also get brochettes of foie gras with roasted red pepper, fried pig's feet, oxtail with horseradish cream, and grilled chicken hearts with garlic and parsley. I've also seen them serve a bone marrow dish, and I've heard tell that you can occasionally get grilled duck's neck. L'Avant Comptoir has a great atmosphere, too. You get to chatting with your neighbors (in a bizarre combination of French and English and sometimes Dutch and Japanese when you're with Kay) and you pass around a communal bread basket. They have butter, sweet pickles and other condiments on the counter to go with your bread and charcuterie.
My reawakened excitement about food has also made me want to cook more. This past week has been cooking playtime. Last weekend, Kay's friend Thomas (also a chef) taught Kay and I to make our own fresh pasta. Then on Wednesday we went to the huge market in Chinatown to buy ingredients for pad thai (we totally winged it - we didn't really have a recipe, just kind of an idea of what goes into it - but the dish came out really well). Then last night I whipped up some Thai green curry with veggies.
It's probably weird to be cooking so much Thai food in France, but one complaint I have about French food is that it's often quite bland (not the case at l'Avant Comptoir, yet another reason I love it). You see, my American palate loves having spicy Italian, Chinese and Mexican food on a pretty regular basis. I just get really bored with mustard and cream sauce being poured over literally every kind of meat and served with bland, overcooked vegetables. Obviously food at high-end French restaurants is not like this, but the stuff you eat on a daily basis is heavy on the cheese and cream and light on fresh vegetables and seasonings. The French want to hold on to their reputation as the gastronomic capital of the world, but for the most part it's the haute cuisine that will help them retain that title, not the daily fare in your average cafe.
I find this problem in fashion, too. The haute couture shows give Paris its reputation for being a fashion capital, but Parisian street fashion lacks creativity. In terms of every-day fashion (and every-day food), I find New York and London more exciting. In defense of Parisian fashion, though, you can totally get away with joutfits here.
Foie gras
Steak tartare
Blood sausage
Veal (just because in the U.S. people judge you)
Frog legs
Escargot
Camembert
An assortment of raw things such as eggs, tuna and salmon
One can sample all kinds of delicious things at l'Avant Comptoir, an excellent restaurant in the 6th. The little sister to larger, more famous le Comptoir de Relais (both opened by Yves Camdeborde), often people only stop in at the former for appetizers before a large sit-down meal at the latter. In fact, l'Avant Comptoir doesn't even have tables and chairs. You squeeze into the tiny space and stand at the counter. However, Kay and I have decided that l'Avant Comptoir is a great place to create a delicious (and inexpensive) lunch out of several hors d'oeuvres. We made friends with the chef (the one who prepares the food, not the one who opened the restaurant), Sebastien, so it's a fun place to go, too.
They offer several different types of sausage and ham, thinly sliced and served on a wooden cutting board. You can also get brochettes of foie gras with roasted red pepper, fried pig's feet, oxtail with horseradish cream, and grilled chicken hearts with garlic and parsley. I've also seen them serve a bone marrow dish, and I've heard tell that you can occasionally get grilled duck's neck. L'Avant Comptoir has a great atmosphere, too. You get to chatting with your neighbors (in a bizarre combination of French and English and sometimes Dutch and Japanese when you're with Kay) and you pass around a communal bread basket. They have butter, sweet pickles and other condiments on the counter to go with your bread and charcuterie.
My reawakened excitement about food has also made me want to cook more. This past week has been cooking playtime. Last weekend, Kay's friend Thomas (also a chef) taught Kay and I to make our own fresh pasta. Then on Wednesday we went to the huge market in Chinatown to buy ingredients for pad thai (we totally winged it - we didn't really have a recipe, just kind of an idea of what goes into it - but the dish came out really well). Then last night I whipped up some Thai green curry with veggies.
It's probably weird to be cooking so much Thai food in France, but one complaint I have about French food is that it's often quite bland (not the case at l'Avant Comptoir, yet another reason I love it). You see, my American palate loves having spicy Italian, Chinese and Mexican food on a pretty regular basis. I just get really bored with mustard and cream sauce being poured over literally every kind of meat and served with bland, overcooked vegetables. Obviously food at high-end French restaurants is not like this, but the stuff you eat on a daily basis is heavy on the cheese and cream and light on fresh vegetables and seasonings. The French want to hold on to their reputation as the gastronomic capital of the world, but for the most part it's the haute cuisine that will help them retain that title, not the daily fare in your average cafe.
I find this problem in fashion, too. The haute couture shows give Paris its reputation for being a fashion capital, but Parisian street fashion lacks creativity. In terms of every-day fashion (and every-day food), I find New York and London more exciting. In defense of Parisian fashion, though, you can totally get away with joutfits here.
17 April, 2010
SIA - Socialism in Action
Tonight I played Monopoly - the beloved pasttime of the American capitalist - with a French seven-year-old. I will recount for you how this went and leave it up to you to decide whether her behavior was a product of the French economic and social system or just a little kid not wanting to lose.
Me: Oh man, I love Monopoly! We used to play this all the time when I was growing up.
Kid: Oh good, you know how to play. Ok so here's your money. I go first.
[We play for a while and I buy a bunch of property, clearly. I explain to her how it works if you get a monopoly. We play some more.]
Kid: Oh, I'm running low on money now. I need to go to the bank.
Me: ...?
[Kid takes a few bills out of the bank tray.]
Me: Um, can you do that?
Kid: Yeah, I was almost out of money so I just got some from the bank.
Me: Oh. Um. Ok, that's just not how we play at my house.
Kid: Well that's how you're supposed to play. It's in the rules.
Me: So how do you win? Isn't someone supposed to run out of money?
Kid: No, no one wins. You just play until you're tired of it.
[Her dad walks in.]
Kid: Hey Dad, in Monopoly when you're almost out of money, you just take some out of the bank, right?
Dad: Of course.
Insert "government" where you see "bank" in that exchange and there's France for you. In fact, if you're unemployed (un chomeur), the government gives you a pretty legit annual income to make sure you can still eat and have a home and everything. They treat their citizens really well. America, are you taking notes?
Me: Oh man, I love Monopoly! We used to play this all the time when I was growing up.
Kid: Oh good, you know how to play. Ok so here's your money. I go first.
[We play for a while and I buy a bunch of property, clearly. I explain to her how it works if you get a monopoly. We play some more.]
Kid: Oh, I'm running low on money now. I need to go to the bank.
Me: ...?
[Kid takes a few bills out of the bank tray.]
Me: Um, can you do that?
Kid: Yeah, I was almost out of money so I just got some from the bank.
Me: Oh. Um. Ok, that's just not how we play at my house.
Kid: Well that's how you're supposed to play. It's in the rules.
Me: So how do you win? Isn't someone supposed to run out of money?
Kid: No, no one wins. You just play until you're tired of it.
[Her dad walks in.]
Kid: Hey Dad, in Monopoly when you're almost out of money, you just take some out of the bank, right?
Dad: Of course.
Insert "government" where you see "bank" in that exchange and there's France for you. In fact, if you're unemployed (un chomeur), the government gives you a pretty legit annual income to make sure you can still eat and have a home and everything. They treat their citizens really well. America, are you taking notes?
For giggles
My dad sent me some good French military jokes after he read the last post. I felt it would be cruel not to share them.
Back in 2003, Jay Leno said it was no surprise the French wouldn't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either. Leno added that the French contribution to Iraq could be to teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
Why are French streets tree-lined?
So the Germans can march in the shade.
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows, it's never been tried.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.
For sale: French rifles... never fired, dropped once.
You're welcome.
Back in 2003, Jay Leno said it was no surprise the French wouldn't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either. Leno added that the French contribution to Iraq could be to teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
Why are French streets tree-lined?
So the Germans can march in the shade.
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows, it's never been tried.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.
For sale: French rifles... never fired, dropped once.
You're welcome.
15 April, 2010
How many gears does a French tank have?
Five - Four in reverse and one forward (in case of attack from behind). [Hahahahaha]
Seriously though, today we are going to talk about French military history because the stereotype that Cathy suggested was that the French always lose wars. I would like to begin with an excerpt from the book I am currently reading, Paris to the Moon, by Adam Gopnik*. I feel like he pretty much sums up the actions of the French military in the last 150 years.
"Bordeaux is the town where France goes to give up. It was where the French governemnt retreated from Paris under fire from the Prussians in 1870, and again from the kaiser's armies in 1914, and where, in June 1940, the French government fled in the face of the German advance and soon afterward met not just the fact of defeat but the utter depth of France's demoralization."
So with that preamble, I am going to make a few lists. List A will be the times France has won a conflict. List B will be the times they have lost / surrendered. And List C will be the times where no one is really sure who won. Ready? (Side note: from what I understand, the Gauls [early tribe in what is now France] even surrendered first to Caesar and then to the Franks in something like 50 BCE and the fifth century CE, respectively. This habit of surrendering has been a long time in the making, for real.) (Also, don't feel obligated to read my whole timeline. I'll sum it up for you at the end.) (Also, DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be 100% accurate and awesome unbiased historical reporting. Duh.)
List A:
5th-6th Century: Clovis I kicked everyone's asses
8th Century: The French bested the "Islamic hordes"
9th Century: Charlemagne won lots of wars and totes created an empire
1066: Norman Conquest (of England)
1337-1453: Hundred Years' War - The French technically "won" the war, but they lost a whole lot of battles
1718-1720: War of the Quadruple Alliance (Britain, France, Austria and Holland beat Spain)
1859: Franco-Austrian War
List B:
1302: Battle of the Golden Spurs (Flemish victory)
1415: Battle of Agincourt (English victory)
1494-1559: Italian Wars
1754-63: Seven Years' War (English victory)
1803-15: Napoleonic Wars (yeah, Napoleon might have gained a lot of territory, but he was ultimately defeated at Waterloo.)
1870-71: Franco-Prussian War
1914-18; 1938-45: WWI & II (I mean, the Allies won but France totally got shat on)
1946-54: First Indochina War
1954-62: Algerian War
List C:
1095-1272: Crusades (I mean, clearly some were successful and some were not, but they were all disasters, let's be honest)
1562-98: Wars of Religion
1667-68: War of Devolution
1672-78: Franco-Dutch War
1683-84: War of the Reunions
1688-97: Nine Years' War
1701-14: War of Spanish Succession
1733-38: War of Polish Succession
1740-1748: War of Austrian Succession
1789-1871: French Revolutions I-IV
Whew. So, by my count, there were seven true wins, ten losses and something like 13 (unless you want to count each and every crusade separately) in which there were no decisive victories. However, with the exception of the Franco-Austrian War of 1859, the French have not actually won a war all by themselves (you know, without the Anglo-Saxons) since the fifteenth century.
To quote a Wikipedia article* about the military history of France, "[After the Algerian War,] De Gaulle often believed that France had little control over its military destiny. Today, despite being a nuclear power and having some of the best trained and best equipped forces in the world, the military role of France is seen in terms of coalition interventions, peacekeeping, and minor disputes."
So yes, kids, you can keep those French military jokes coming. Turns out, stereotypes are indeed based in fact. *I'm going to cite where my quotes are from. You know, so I'm not plagiarizing and stuff.
Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik, p. 106
"Military History of France," http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_france
Seriously though, today we are going to talk about French military history because the stereotype that Cathy suggested was that the French always lose wars. I would like to begin with an excerpt from the book I am currently reading, Paris to the Moon, by Adam Gopnik*. I feel like he pretty much sums up the actions of the French military in the last 150 years.
"Bordeaux is the town where France goes to give up. It was where the French governemnt retreated from Paris under fire from the Prussians in 1870, and again from the kaiser's armies in 1914, and where, in June 1940, the French government fled in the face of the German advance and soon afterward met not just the fact of defeat but the utter depth of France's demoralization."
So with that preamble, I am going to make a few lists. List A will be the times France has won a conflict. List B will be the times they have lost / surrendered. And List C will be the times where no one is really sure who won. Ready? (Side note: from what I understand, the Gauls [early tribe in what is now France] even surrendered first to Caesar and then to the Franks in something like 50 BCE and the fifth century CE, respectively. This habit of surrendering has been a long time in the making, for real.) (Also, don't feel obligated to read my whole timeline. I'll sum it up for you at the end.) (Also, DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be 100% accurate and awesome unbiased historical reporting. Duh.)
List A:
5th-6th Century: Clovis I kicked everyone's asses
8th Century: The French bested the "Islamic hordes"
9th Century: Charlemagne won lots of wars and totes created an empire
1066: Norman Conquest (of England)
1337-1453: Hundred Years' War - The French technically "won" the war, but they lost a whole lot of battles
1718-1720: War of the Quadruple Alliance (Britain, France, Austria and Holland beat Spain)
1859: Franco-Austrian War
List B:
1302: Battle of the Golden Spurs (Flemish victory)
1415: Battle of Agincourt (English victory)
1494-1559: Italian Wars
1754-63: Seven Years' War (English victory)
1803-15: Napoleonic Wars (yeah, Napoleon might have gained a lot of territory, but he was ultimately defeated at Waterloo.)
1870-71: Franco-Prussian War
1914-18; 1938-45: WWI & II (I mean, the Allies won but France totally got shat on)
1946-54: First Indochina War
1954-62: Algerian War
List C:
1095-1272: Crusades (I mean, clearly some were successful and some were not, but they were all disasters, let's be honest)
1562-98: Wars of Religion
1667-68: War of Devolution
1672-78: Franco-Dutch War
1683-84: War of the Reunions
1688-97: Nine Years' War
1701-14: War of Spanish Succession
1733-38: War of Polish Succession
1740-1748: War of Austrian Succession
1789-1871: French Revolutions I-IV
Whew. So, by my count, there were seven true wins, ten losses and something like 13 (unless you want to count each and every crusade separately) in which there were no decisive victories. However, with the exception of the Franco-Austrian War of 1859, the French have not actually won a war all by themselves (you know, without the Anglo-Saxons) since the fifteenth century.
To quote a Wikipedia article* about the military history of France, "[After the Algerian War,] De Gaulle often believed that France had little control over its military destiny. Today, despite being a nuclear power and having some of the best trained and best equipped forces in the world, the military role of France is seen in terms of coalition interventions, peacekeeping, and minor disputes."
So yes, kids, you can keep those French military jokes coming. Turns out, stereotypes are indeed based in fact. *I'm going to cite where my quotes are from. You know, so I'm not plagiarizing and stuff.
Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik, p. 106
"Military History of France," http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_france
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
